Having a fat day!

Oh God, the only good thing about being pregnant (apart from the end result) is no periods! I haven't gotten mine yet but the hormonal build up is there. I am after putting on half a stone in two weeks (comfort eating due to stress and craving) my skin is somehow both dry and spotty and I feel rotten, ugly and bloated, nothing in my wardrobe makes me feel nice. Knowing my luck the inevitable time of the month will happen the week of the baptism so I'm so narky I alienate all my family and friends before the actual day, at least they won't see me, oozing out of the dress I bought for the day (hope my feet will still fit in the uber sexy red shoes I got), even my control underwear will not be able to tame my belly!

So it got me thinking as to how "they" do it? By they obviously I mean the celebrities, how when they have just had babies and are hormonal and feeling yucky do they manage to not only resist the urge to eat chocolate biscuits with visitors when they come to see the baby or eat chocolate biscuits in the middle of the night when feeding baby or eat chocolate biscuits when baby is crying and you are exhausted and hungry, but they actually lose their baby weight in six weeks? It takes nine months to reach the weight before you have the baby so how do they do it so quickly? They must just deny themselves everything, so it's just vegetables and fish!

I must admit (grudgingly) to having respect for their will power, I can't resist a cadbury snack sandwich at four in the afternoon when that sugar dip hits, or walking home from school I find it impossible to say no to a mint feast or an iceberger....yum! Celebrities' images are their currencies, so their motivation is much stronger than a stay at home size 18 mums. Obviously they aren't breastfeeding, as the hunger is overwhelming (one friend of mine managed to eat half a fruitcake daily on top of her normal diet).

Having said that in the hospital they use the weight loss feature of breast feeding as a carrot to mothers (I've never been very sucessful with breast feeding- a posting for another day) and perhaps if a celebrity fed and didn't eat the appropriate amount of calories required they'd lose weight at a rapid rate. But that couldn't explain the stomach muscles that are like a boxers, so they also start to exercise immediately too, so much pressure on themselves, how do they bond with their babies? Do they just view the children as obstacles to the perfect body?

The rest of us mere mortals look at the airbrushed photos (they never have stretchmarks do they?) And they can only be eliminated by photo editing) , and we feel inferior, we feel like we should have the self control and determination to look as good as we can within weeks of giving birth, never mind that we have to cope with the new baby (and any existing ones) and our hormones playing silly buggers, sleep deprivation and nappy brain, we have to look perfect.

It's too much, and I for one can't live up to it, maybe it's the hormones speaking but I'm proud of my flabby bits and strechmarks, they are badges of honour and I'm proud of mine, now my bingo wings, they're another story altogether!