Happiness!

Isn't this painting fab? I put Happiness in to Google images and this is what it threw up....well it was one of the first things it threw up anyway! So a fair few of my posts in recent months have been about how sad I've been feeling, how at times I feel so low or so angry. So I decided to post when I'm feeling happy!



I am happy, content, assured and comfortable in my own skin at the moment. The beginning of the week was bad, I had a couple of really awful days and I got my period (remember now I'm not eating junk food), but from Wednesday evening things have been looking up.



Wednesday evening I went to my Weight Watchers meeting, I had lost another two pounds (well I had gained a pound over Christmas so i really only lost one pound. I also had a weird experience, I've been going now for a few months and now loads of new people are beginning and I'm one of the success stories, I know how bizarre is that, The leader asked me how much weight I'd lost, I didn't know, but apparently its nearly one and a half stone! Each week losing a pound or whatever is nice but when I add it all together it's a lot! It's actually what my son weighs, and carrying him around makes my arms ache so I have some idea of how heavy that actually is in reality!

So after weight watchers I headed to my boyfriends place, (having a boyfriend/being a girlfriend still feels weird) where he was just in from work and I made some food, we had some yummy wine and watched a DVD, sounds extremely domesticated and boring, but it just feels so lovely! Curled up on the sofa I just want to stay there forever!

Anyway, the point of this post (yes there is one) is that I put up Newton Faulkner singing home earlier in the week and I said it summed up how I was feeling about my boyfriend, it does, but it's more than that, there is a kind of a story to it.

The night before my husband left me for good we were in the car, I was driving and the Newton Faulkner album was playing, we were silent, we'd rowed earlier in the day and there was a strange stillness in the air, my tummy felt all knotted up, I could feel the change in the air I suppose. Then the song Home came on, in it Newton is talking to an ex lover, their relationship has ended and he has moved on he is with a new partner and it feels so right, it feels like home, he tells the ex that he wants all the best things for her but that he is happy the relationship ended so he could meet this new partner. Now that Friday evening those words floated around the car and between us, tears rolled down my cheeks, if he noticed he never mentioned it, each word made my fears solidify in my heart, I put my hand on his at one point and I felt nothing...he next morning my ex left.

Now on Wednesday evening while I cooked I was croaking away to the CD, I'd brought it with me, in the hope of indoctrinating my new man into the cult of Newton! The song Home came on and he said, isn't that the song you put on the blog, and doesn't it remind you of me? I said yep, and I kissed him, and the reality of the situation hit home, it does feel like home, it feels so right it's scary, I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone. I am totally blown away by how I feel. It's not the passion that first flurry of attraction and lust it's how comfortable I feel, that has totally blown me out of the water.

So I am happy. Very happy, and long may it last!

(Oh, and Hiya Jellybean! Hope you like the post :-P )