Circle of Life!

I have decided to do several things this year, I can't believe that two and a bit weeks are already gone....running out of time! One of the things I am doing is being reproductively responsible and getting my tubes tied (well cut actually) and today I was visiting the doctor because I have been feeling really ill since last night (combination virus, bad period it turns out) but while visiting my very efficient doctor he checked me over, remembered he hadn't done my iron levels in a while (I got weak this morning...yay anemia) "sure we'll do a cholesterol test at the same time shall we?" How can the man get so excited about digging around in my arms looking for veins (I have apparently no veins....actually that's a lie, I do have veins, tiny, tiny veins that make having blood taken incredibly painful and makes the person taking the blood very angry...see the vicious circle?) He then remembered my son who was squirming in my arms crying while I had my bloods taken needed a shot, so while he was doing all this we were talking about my desire for permanent contraception.... in a way my four year old daughter wouldn't understand! I didn't have the heart to tell him she probably knew I definitely didn't want any more babies!

So apparently it's not as simple as I thought it would be. I am a public patient, now maybe if i were willing to go private it would be different, but I ain't and that's a whole other post! So I have three children between the ages of under one and nearly ten, I am 34 going on 35, I had complications on all of my pregnancies, the last time the complications happened after the birth and meant I had to be readmitted and needed seriously toxic drugs to moderate my blood pressure! Then there is the fact that none of my babies were planned, I am delighted to have them all but their (my) timing really sucked! Now I am finally getting my life under my own control I think I would have huge difficulty in coping with a crisis pregnancy, I don't believe in termination so I need a sure fire method of contraception.

What about the other methods of contraception that are out there I hear you say? Well name one and I'll have tried it....except the coil! I have had enough things in my womb thank you! I was on the pill from 18 until about 21, then due to the fact that (no matter which one I tried) it killed all sexual desire and made me a psycho bitch to live with, so much so that even if I had been horny the barring order my partner had sought would have kept me away from him! (That is a joke.....but it was bad!) Then I got a Diaphragm or "Dutch Cap" a little rubber skull cap I had to hook up inside me to cover my cervix, it needed to be insert hours before sex...so basically every day and then left in for eight ours afterwards, it was used with a load of spermicide, which my partner was allergic to, his cock swelled up to porn star measurements!(which sounds great, but it was painful) So I swapped my spermicide but it was still happening....he was allergic to the latex in the cap (a very common allergy guys, latex is what most condoms are made from now). So then we tried the Femidom......oh god, that has to be the least sexy thing ever invented, like a sandwich bag you insert in your yoni! Then there was the mini pill, again hormonal hell and finally we settled on a combination of natural method, coitus interuptus and condoms......there children later here I am, waiting to see a Doctor to plead with him to let me stop having children without having to stop having sex!


So I am begging for the right to say no more babies! I am begging for the right to have sex without worrying will the condom break and I'll wind up pregnant, is that really too much to ask? It kinda stinks of the old Catholic Ireland doesn't it? I'm not looking for an abortion, I just don't want anymore babies, why is that a problem? I do not want to have to have an operation, even keyhole surgery, when my doctor said they put a little camera in through the belly button I nearly puked, and then they cut two other holes, they inflate the abdomen and then do the job, it is a general anaesthetic but should be a one day job with no need for an overnight. I did get a funny feeling in my tummy when doctor said I'd need someone to drop me off and pick me up from hospital, take care of me for a day or two, I know my mum and dad will do it, but you know......

Anyway I am in the funny position of the other thing I have already started to do being related to babies and Holles street, I have applied to return to college in October, and my number one and number two choices are midwifery! I know! Ironic or what? I don't want to have anymore of my own babies so I can study to help other women have their own babies! Fingers crossed I get a place guys it's tough competition, only 20 places on the two courses one in UCD and one in Trinity!