My mum had a hysterectomy at 33, at the time HRT was in it's early stages and it made her ill, she got benign lumps on her breasts, it was serious enough to stop the treatment. She had also had a really bad diet, obsessing about her weight and really not eating what she should, I remember years of the Cambridge diet...which was a pink milkshake diet! She developed arthritic in her 30's and by 40 she had osteoarthritis, she has been in constant pain for nearly twenty years now,and today it reached another level.
My mum has been admitted to the Hospice in Harold's Cross where she will be given another MRI scan to see if she has a fracture in her spine, then they start the physio, it is gonna be three weeks of that, she is gonna be in there having treatment and hopefully gaining some relief, at the moment she can hardly bear the pain, there are days she can't sit down and every night she is luck if she can get two or three hours sleep! This will be her future, she will have to accept that she is going to be in and out of the hospice three or four times a year and that gradually she will wind up in a wheelchair, sooner rather than later, but she is so stubborn she will fight it.
So I am faced with the fact that my mum, who I adore, who is still my mum taking care of me and giving me advice is changing, our roles are changing, and that scares me. She is not the kind of woman to take easily to advice, she has no desire to be taken care of, and that is gonna cause some problems for us.
So today my mum faced facts, and saw her future, she will have immediately looked around and seen someone less able than her who she will take care of, she has already planned a sleep over for two weeks, when she is home for the weekend, she'll have my two older guys and my brothers son, she adores her grandchildren!
I am scared, I love her so much, I think probably cos we didn't establish a good relationship until I had left home at 20, the relationship means more to me. I am upset, finding it hard to admit that this is her future, pain and hospital, I just feel helpless, I wish there was something I could do to help!
5 comments:
So sorry about this. I's horrible to be able to do so little.
Any progress with the alternative pain relief?
Aw my heart goes out to you Midge, don't know what to say. I know Harolds Cross are the "pain" people though so if there's anything can be done, they'll do it. You're a strong individual and will cope with this challenge. Hugs to you and your Mum.
I'm thinking about her, I hope she knows that x
I must be really sad to see the health of your mum deteriorate. Good that she will fight it and keep going as long as she can, that's what's life about in a way.
I was talking to her last night, it's very upsetting for me, but of course she's the one in all the pain and experiencing the fear.
Thanks for the support!
Jo, she is gonna be there (weekends off) for a month, then if this hasn't worked she'll consider the alternative!
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