Relax, It's just parenthood!

If you've read my blog before you'll know I'm a mum, if one of your friends recommended you read my blog cos it gets a bit racy then read another post, this one is about being a mum! I have three weenies as you know, aged nine, three and three months. Now I have in the past found being a mum both rewarding and frustrating, I'm a total perfectionist and until recently I've felt like I had to be the perfect mother with the perfect little children in tow. For a long time I've felt like I was playing the role of a happy, perfect 50's housewife and mother!

It's become impossible to maintain this role playing recently, I just have so much going on with the kids and the house, trying to have a relationship with my husband and trying to have some "me" space that is just for me, knitting or reading or blogging. So recently I've begun a different form of parenting, I call it "full half assed parenting", I love my kids and I want the best for them but now I realise I can't be perfect with perfect children, but I can be happy with happy children.

I ignore the temper tantrum, don't make an issue of it, no idle threats I'm never gonna go through with, no "wait til we get home", I let the kids stay up a bit late if they want, then they sleep better. If they eat chicken nuggets for dinner I'm not wondering what will happen cos they don't have vegetables with every meal. It's don't sweat the small stuff, it's an paradigm shift, I ignore the not so perfect behaviour of my kids and I'm rewarded with less stressed and happier kids, they no longer feel the pressure to be perfect.

So a couple of weeks ago on a wintery June day my husband and I took the kids to the zoo (usually a stressful time, avoiding the places where sweets and icecream are sold) it was torrential rain, we got so wet within ten minutes we knew we just weren't gonna get any wetter! We didn't stress worrying about our weenies geetting cold, (they all had raincoats, and baby was bone dry in the buggy), we told the kids that they could have as many treats as they wanted (which worked out as two, which was what they would have had anyway) we let them run riot, only giving out if they were in danger of hurting or upsetting themselves or others. We had an amazing day, so much fun, we really relaxed and enjoyed our childrens company!

Then last Saturday we tried another thing we find stressful with the kids, town! With the same don't stress the small stuff attitude we headed into town, southside, bookshops, Fallon and Byrne and cup of coffee. It was great, ok kids got a bit loud and probably pissed off a few people, but they don't have to take them home so they could go have their coffee somewhere else if it bothered them so much . We had another lovely day. It's hard for me to turn of my feeling to be perfect, that people are judging me, but I don't know them, they don't know me, why do I care what they think?

It's really difficult to be perfect, it doesn't make you happy, it doesn't make your kids happy, maybe everyone should try to relax, it's not that hard!