Ten years ago tonight I was in Holles Street, my first baby wasn't due for another three weeks but my blood pressure was dangerously high and I had been admitted, they broke my waters as my baby had to be delivered for both of our sakes! Today had a lot of, gosh I can't believe he is ten, he walked to the shop on his own for the first time today and is walking to and from school in the morning for the first time soon, he is so proud of himself!But I have a cold, so I am feeling pretty crap, the kids are pushing all my buttons, the oldest is picking on the middle one, she is just feeling picked on and moaning and the baby just wants to eat electric cables and drink scalding hot tea, which obviously I won't let him do so he is just screaming.
Ten years I've been doing this for.... a decade! How the hell am I still (relatively) sane? My last post was about my dad's drinking, and if I should give up...
Sitting here right now, I have no desire for a drink, but my night at the weekend when I go out and I do have a few drinks (binge drink definitely more than four units) I don't want to feel guilty.
My husband and I have separated, I have three kids 10, 4 and not even one, I have no husband to cuddle up to in the evenings and vent how shit my day was, or even to share the good things the kids may have done that day, I did not plan or want to be in this position in my 30's but what is my option! Sit at home alone knitting, or sit with my married mother friends while they bitch about their husbands who haven't left them!
Sorry, I sound Bitter, and twisted, but today, under the weather and tired I am!
8 comments:
You make a good point. Perhaps you need to cultivate some single mother friends to bitch about husbands who have left them? Seriously.
They are so unbelievably bitter....I don't need to surround myself with that! I have a few friends who have been in this position for a lot longer than me....I just can't handle the negativity!
Ah god. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'll try harder not to moan about my husband so. :)
Jo, you are actually a very positive person.....I didn't mean you, at times when I'm talking to people and they are moaning I just want to say, "then fecking leave him!" I can say hand on heart I've never felt that when talking to you!
I am thinking about joining an amateur dramatic group....or taking a class in spoken Irish!
MW, don't know what the answer is. There are so many crap parts to life. I think the best way round is accepting the ups and downs and living in hope for future peace of mind.
That and tv boxsets. They're a lifesaver for taking your mind off things.
funnily enough last night my boyfriend introduced me to the tv boxset, watched three episodes of Firefly, really enjoyed it, and it really took my mind off crap!
Yay!
Also had red wine and dorittos and salsa, but refused chocolate!
Ah, Captain Nathan Fillion just gets sexier... if you're a good girl and you keep watching, you get to see his ass...
the Irish class is such a good idea - I'm so sorry I can't speak it - but what makes me sorrier is that I can't see myself ever taking the time to go to a class. I'd a friend who did classes in the Gailge institute or whatever they're called in town, and he said they were really lovely. When my bro needed help for the LC, he suggested them, said they'd be like 'Oh! A young man in trouble!' and rush into the breach. And they have a club where there's good cheap Guinness.
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