My Poor Boyfriend!

I am a psycho bitch.......totally, and my lovely, sweet and funny boyfriend is having to put up with me! Now I haven't been violent or aggressive or abusive in anyway, but I've been so Bolshi recently it's not funny.

Two things are at play, I began taking the pill about two and a half weeks ago, now my moods until then had been OK, fairly normal woman moods, one great week where I look and feel amazing and then three to four crappy weeks where everything seems so pointless, energy levels are low and it culminates in a week of being unable to stop crying! Now that has stopped, which is amazing and I hope my hormones will sort themselves out enough for my skin to normalise too! But now my fuse is so short, I just feel like I'm being attacked, when I ain't and the tiny but of my brain that isn't pickled in hormones is going "Eh, Hello! You are one fucked up psycho bitch!" The second thing at play is my new found independence, after putting my partners needs and opinions before my own for a long time I don't want this relationship to be like that, so I fight extra hard to get my opinion across, again I can hear sensible voice saying "It's OK not to agree, he's not telling you what to do....You Psycho Bitch!!"

So my lovely boyfriend thinks I need more sleep, I disagree and proceed to fight this point to the death, I tell him never to buy me books to "better" myself as I fecking hated when my ex did that, my lovely boyfriend says he just wants to share the things that are important to him...I feel torn, my rational Midge is saying, "Oh, that's lovely, wouldn't it be worse if he didn't think you had enough brain to read the books......You Crazy, Insane, Hormonal Idiot!" But I'm still feeling upset cos I really want to read the new Sophie Kinsella book without felling like a disappointment!

So you see my lovely guy is now dealing with a bull in woman's clothing, I am fine sometimes , we had a lovely evening on Thursday I cooked a lovely supper and we watched a DVD, then yesterday morning it was lovely to wake up together (even if during the night I was roasting...I've gotten so used to being alone, find it hard to sleep when he's there) And then in the morning my favorite bit of the day, waking up to see his smiley face (we haven't been together long enough to wake up looking narky, also he can't see me without his glasses on so I don't worry about how crappy I might look!!!)

I love to cuddle up to him and feel the peace that descends when he puts his arms around me. I feel so quite and peaceful in that moment, I wish we could just do every time I start to turn into psycho woman from the planet Ovula!