I'm fiery, I'm an Aries, and fairly typically so, mood swings, really, really happy or really, really sad, quick to anger but just as quick to forget about it and move on! In particular I'm very protective of my children, i carried them in my belly for nearly three years when you add the three of them up, now I'd be a fool to invest so much time (and ice cream) in something and then just lose interest. So I get angry when my weenies are hurt, physically or emotionally.
Years ago when my eldest was about 18 months and we still hadn't sold out and bought a car, we were on the bus, I had him on my lap so an elderly woman could have the seat beside me, after about fifteen minutes she slapped him! Apparently he had kicked her, accidentally as you couldn't meet a gentler child (still), and she slapped him, now my hubby was sitting behind me and said he'd never seen me change to quickly, from mild mannered mummy to lioness! I was horrified and in shock at the same time, I gave her a piece of my mind ( without using any foul language) and then we got off the bus, that was it, now I'd seriously call the police! Really that is just random child abuse, and you know what? She was a nun. Surprised? I wasn't.
Yesterday someone hurt my little princess, they didn't slap her or hurt her physically but they wounded her emotionally. As the little people came tumbling out of the door from Montessori at one yesterday there was even more excitement than usual, and I cursed to myself as I saw why they were so excited, party invitations. Then my little one emerged, she wasn't happy, she didn't jump up into my arms as she usually does. Her little lips were quivering, and she burst into tears, she hadn't been asked to the party.
Now, I hate these parties, the kids are three and four for Gods sake, why do they need these expensive day trips to play centres? Whats wrong with a family tea at home and if you want send in a birthday cake to Montessori for them to share with their friends? Am I a horrible person? I just think it's a waste of money, these little ones would be equally (if not more) impressed with a couple of hours of undivided parental attention. It's the problem of time versus money we are facing today, "I can't spend enough time as I'd like with my toddler, I'm feeling guilty so I'll throw an elaborate party for his/her birthday". Guilt has to be the biggest drain on our bank balances, never mind our mortgages!
Now my princess told me she was the only one not asked to the party (probably not true as she can be a Diva, and elaborate the truth), but even if half the class wasn't invited that just means there we seven little lost souls yesterday asking their mummies why the darling birthday boy didn't like them. They shouldn't be allowed to give out invitations if they aren't asking the whole class, it's that simple, most of the other mothers of birthday boys and girls hand invites to the mothers of the invited kids in the manner of a ,hand over so as not to upset kids that aren't invited.
So today I spoke to the owner of the Montessori and asked that this didn't happen again, I'm naturally quite shy and don't speak up for myself ,but as i said I get annoyed when my cubs are upset and I'd do anything for them. They are gonna rethink their policy, but then the teacher took me to one side today at one and said that she was sure an invitation was on it's way but that's not the point I wasn't fighting for an invitation to a party I don't want to bring her to. Spending an afternoon with ultra skinny and ultra yummy mummies, sipping water or a skinny latte while they discuss their dental work or has Cannes become too common, is not my idea of fun!
Rant over, I told you I was fiery!
6 comments:
What a wagon on the bus! Silly cow!
I remember that invitation thing when Grace was small, it's horrible, they are genuinely hurt and it's horrible to see them upset and in such an avoidable way. How did the other parents think a child was going to react who wasn't invited? That's just cruel. I feel her pain...
You were right to say it to the teacher MW, good move.
NOw I fall between camps here - my daughter juit had her party, at home, you'll be glad to hear, though I'd say we spent as much on it as the local play centre would have charged, if not more, in the end... but anyway, we couldn't afford/dno't have space to invite the whole class, who are not all my daughter's friends anyway - I did the discrete invite thing but the kids all talked about it anyway, much as I tried to avoid that. But other kids have had parties and not invited mine and it's always been a non issue.
we did bring in a cake on her actual b-day, I think everyone does that, and the teachers make buns of various sorts. So they all had their party. I'd love to invite hte whole class, but tit's just not an option. The kids my daughter does play with are part of ehr everyday life to a greater extent than others outside school, surely she should have them there? Now having said that , we certainly didin't even invite half the class, and had I been leaving out a few, I wouldn't have - as it was I felt guilt stricken! But it's a tough time to handle!
Ah, see now, I'm in another camp which is, for pete's sake don't bring in any damn cake!! Or if you want to, give us warning and we'll make cupcakes (fairy cakes?) for everyone and bring them. Food in the classroom is my bugaboo, since LittleBoy can't have lots of what is brought in for celebrations.
At the same time, invites are a hard thing to handle. I had a friend who didn't invite the whole class, and she agonized over it (her child was scared of a few of the kids). Whereas we invited all (but over a bank holiday weekend, so we knew some would be away). And one kid in our class was guaranteed to have the whole class show up, since their parents are relatively well known and everyone wanted a look of the house. Either way, the kids just see it as a present gathering opportunity.
sure, birthdays suck. Can't we just instill that in them when they're young, and avoid the pain later in life? :-D
Ash, it's rotten though, I hate making a fuss, just so hope I don't get accosted by the mother she is the queen of the stepfords!
Jo, I have no problem with her not being invited, it's just the weirdness of it all, that they asked all but three or four of the kids! I won't be doing the whole crazy having a party thing, It's bad enough that I have to do it for the nine year old. Our house is tiny...really tiny!
Polka, I know you hate the food!!! Whats wrong with just sending in say parma ham and olives instead of cake:-} YummY!
This is obviously common place now as I just ranted over on the dark side about a very similar incident to your bus one.
Auld ones watch out cause I am going to hunt you down.
And I move faster then you auld ones too!
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