I watched Wife Swap on Channel four tonight, and I am wondering why? Why do people do it? Why do they do it to their children, the children are the ones who suffer! They pick people who are just at totally different ends of the spectrum. Tonight they had a hippy,drop out home school family and a rich bitch trophy wife type.
I have been thinking recently about home schooling, I love the idea of it, the idea of taking care of the kids development, but it does mean that the kids lose the socialisation aspect of school. School is about much more than just learning things, it is about socialising with other children. I think maybe the things I do at home with them is partly home schooling, I teach the kids different things than they learn at school.
Something that really struck me tonight while I watched it was that both sets of parents were so selfish, they both had different opinions and needs that wanted to have met, and they treat their children as their possessions, that the kids have to live their lives according to their opinions, and that to disagree with their opinions would be the worst thing that could happen!
Do we all feel like this? I was talking to friend recently and I asked him would he be disapointed if his kids decided to be a fast food worker or something? He said he would be, he knows his sons could do much better than that, and he would be disappointed if they didn't live up to their potential. I said, but if they were happy? And still the answer was no, I want them to live up to their potentials.
Maybe I am a bit different, I want my kids to be happy, and if they decide to live their lives differntly from me, if they want to just work in Superquinn, or drop out from society and just write or paint or something, that would be ok, once they were happy. Now obviously I wouldn't want them to use drugs or anything like that, nothing that could hurt them or anyone else! But I do just want my kids to be happy, to feel very happy in themselves, to be confident and secure, that's all we can hope for our kids!
13 comments:
I've wondered that about Wifeswap too - why?? Why do it? Jsut to be a pawn of Channel Four and their exploitative, voyeuristic programming? :)
I hope my children can find simple happiness in better ways that working McJobs, I have to say. There's not a lot of fun or self esteem to be found in McJobs longterm - I hope they will do something that not just anyone can do. HAving said that, I love to encounter nice bright people in my every day transactions, it can make my day - but when I meet them in TEsco I always hope they'll be moving on to something better and brighter before long.
HAving said that, I liek the idea of living in the moment and putting your all into everything you do - for instance, if I was making sandwiches for a living, I like to think I'd put my all into each one.
I'm with you on the Superquinn thing MW. I'v ealways been of the opinion that as long as they're happy I don't care what they do. McDonalds can be very good for teenagers also, there's a social side to it too. (I worked in a pub as a teenager and the hours and pay were dreadful.)
Not all kids are academically gifted. If they're happy, then I'm happy. A simple life can often be all that some kids want.
I don't disagree with that, or place any emphasis on the academic.
I just like to think that there are more creative, individual ways to earn money in between being a doctor or solicitor or accountant - or working in McDonald's.
Of course it's a fine thing to do as a teenager, no question. But it is a satisfying enough way to support your family for thirty or fifty years?
I do like the idea of not caring what you work at because your interests and loves lie outside of your work. I suppose I'm jsut an idealist, and I like to think you can make your living out of your interests and loves! Ha, it hasn't happened to me, yet - it's hopefully about to for my husband.
Everyone is different, someone working in Mc Donalds might like it, even if you or I disagree with that, maybe they play in a band or play football, their job might just be a means to an end!
I don't understand the wifeswap thing, either.
As to the socialization thing...I don't think school is the best place for this. After all, children really aren't given the opportunity to do it all that often. My children have a much broader opportunity to meet and interact with people over the course of the day because we homeschool. They are not at all shy, quite confident, and know how to interact with a variety of people from different backgrounds and ages.
That may be personality, but they certainly haven't been hindered by being homeschooled.
No accounting for taste.
Dana, That's excellent that your kids are thriving with home schooling, you must be vry hard working and very dedicated.
I do not agree with home schooling at all. Looking at the big picture, I think by keeping them at home you are denying your child the right to be 'like everyone else' which is what everyone wants to be in the end.
As a young child, they will not know what they are missing but as they get older I think it will set them apart from their peers.
You share so much with your friends throughout schooling, you help each other through the stuggles and grow up with great memories as well as life long friendships.
I realise there are negative aspects to normal schooling such as bullying, inadequate quality of teaching, peer pressure etc but these are life lessons for kids that they need to learn from.
That's my two cents anyway.
Wow...it's early morning and I have just spent ages reading back a wee bit on your blog. Apologies for not doing so before. That was rude of me. So anyway, love it... promise to stay tuned.
MW,
WTF? OVER
Voodoo is almost there with her reply. Allow me to rant just a bit.
My wife and I home schooled both our children. It drove both sets of grandparents crazy along with all the Aunts and Uncles. This alone should be motivation enough. It just wasn't normal! Here's the thing... Who the hell wants their children to have a normal experience in life when they can have it all? Public and private schools can not hold a candle to a good home schooling experience.
Here's the key... do I have your attention? Children need to learn to become life long learners.
Parents need to be on the same page when it comes to expectations and disciplinary action. Parents need to read to their children from an early age. We started reading to our kids when they came home from the hospital. I would read the newspaper out loud while I held the baby. Both of our boys are voracious readers. Oh, and holding the baby vs. strapping them into a car seat and letting them sit around with a bottle stuck in their mouth is another little thing we can do to provide nurturing and develop a loving bond with our children. We need to let our children fail and then live with and deal with the consequences. We can't hover over them and protect them from all mistakes or they will never learn to ask themselves "If I do this what will happen". I'm not saying you should let them run out in front of a car but if they were teetering on the edge of a step it wouldn't hurt to let them take a header. If they break a window next door you have them contact the owner and have them arrange to get the window fixed and pay the cost. You can't be a "drill sergeant" parent by telling your child to do everything. In doing so you take over their decision making skills. You need to provide choices. Allow them to make a choice even if you think it's wrong and let them live with it. You give them an allowance but not because they do chores. You give them an allowance so that they can purchase what they want. We have our kids $5.00 a week. If they wanted a $50.00 toy we would encourage them to get it. How much do you have saved? Oh you are just 5 weeks from being able to get one. Our oldest was a dedicated saver and always got what he wanted. Our youngest had desires for more expensive toys but always ended up blowing his money early on lower quality toys that wouldn't last very long. They both became very frugal spenders and each has very good money skills today. Look for "Parenting with Love and Logic" written by Faye & Cline.
As for social skills there are many home school associations that provide outlets for kids to get together. The good thing is that it's generally a mix of age ranges instead of all the kids being the same age. You need to ask yourself when in your adult life have you worked in an office where everyone was the same or similar age. That's not normal. Older kids help the younger kids and learn to become leaders. Similar to the old one room school house.
We formed a 4H Club with a group of home schoolers and the kids still get together at 4H leadership programs. In fact several of them will be attending the same college next year with our youngest son.
Academics? We did not follow a structured curriculum. We based our teaching on what the kid’s greatest interest was. When both boys were really into dinosaurs we had them do a timeline of the various periods and fossil records. We incorporated math, history, geography, science, and numerous other learning moments. As they grew older we followed the education milestones established by our local secondary schools. My wife would write the daily assignments on a tablet in our kitchen. There was no structured time to get it done. They just needed to complete the work by day’s end. Our oldest would do all the work just after breakfast and our youngest would do the work in the evening.
Our oldest son who just turned 21 was a 4.0 Deans List kid in Community College and earned his AS at 18 years old. He's followed his heart and is attempting to form a cooperative organic farm in southern Oregon. Our youngest was awarded an academic scholarship to a private university locally. He will transfer to a State College next year to follow his dream of getting his Doctorate in Physical Therapy. Both boys have spent countless hours as volunteers in our community in hospitals and animal shelters as well as lending a helping hand when members of the community fall victim to property damage from storms or flooding.
No public or private primary or secondary school could ever provide the quality and customized education our boys received.
Most importantly my wife and I were able to form a great relationship with our kids. They are honest with us and we are honest with them. Was it hard to do? Sometimes. Was it worth it? Damn straight! You can do it!
Sorry - this became more of a post than an comment.
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Love-Logic-Updated-Expanded/dp/1576839540/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202268885&sr=8-1
Journey,
Thank you so much for your comment, It's fasinating to hear from someone who has done the home schooling thing, Oh my God you and your wife must be amazing people as well as amazing parents, and your children are so lucky to have such "presnt" parents!
I don't know if I have the inner strenght to do what you do!
Thank you so much for taking the time to talk about your experiences!
Idiot, keep reading! I can be a bit all over the place! But it's home!
I wouldn't have the resourcefulness or energy for homeschooling. But I have a friend who does, her kids are great! They know what ordinary school is, and htey could go if they want, but when asked, they choose not to go.
I don't know what the answer to the socialising issue is - I personally feel that being away from other kids for most of the day can be limiting on one hand - but on the other hand, so much of the school experience is a negative one. So many socialisation experiences are negative, even damaging.
My gut feeling is that it is not a kindness to stop children from being able to deal with the mainstream, which is why I'll ultimately let my kids have a Nintendo, or a Barbie, much as I disagree with them! I don't know that homeschooling necessarily does this (and I agree it teaches an awful lot of skills) but I think it means you reject a lot of other children's everyday experiences, which has to be a little alienating.
If you're not into homeschooling, then I think you should be fighting really hard for primary school reform. We should not accept what's being offered to us in this country at the moment. It's just not good enough. We need at least a 12:1 pupil teacher ratio, learning support, lots of PE and art and music opportunities, swimming pool access and lots of running around. and serious attention paid to literacy and numeracy - in terms of a change in teaching methods - no more admin or school hours.
Do you know that lots of American schools are doing away with recess?
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