So, as you know I'm losing weight at the moment, I promised an update so here goes!I have been watching what I eat for the last six weeks or so, and going to the gym for three, I've lost about a stone and I'm shrinking quite rapidly! I have no desire for chocolate or sugary sweets (unless people keep talking about them!) I am drinking a bit more, (I was tee total) So I enjoy a couple of light beers or some vodka when out! I feel great and I think I look well. Energy levels are through the roof. Now there is a down side, my clothes look crap!
There is another side effect, one that I don't think people would ever think of. I'm changing constantly, so I look a little bit smaller and different everyday, and that new person who's emerging is interesting and I want to like her but I'm not sure. She likes the fact that she is shrinking which kinda seems disloyal to the old me! Because I'm losing weight people say lots of "wow, you look great!" but i thought I looked great before!
Talking to a friend on Friday about the whole weight loss thing he asked me did I really care what the number on the scale said, would I feel less worthwhile if I didn't lose weight? I had to really think about that, I do want to lose weight for lots of reasons but also don't want to betray myself or other big girls who are happy big. It's a really tough situation to be in.
I suppose the best example i can give is, if you've ever given up drink and felt uncomfortable around your friends when they drink, because they feel you are judging them. I don't want to judge the old me who was happy being big, my life has changed and therefore my lifestyle has had to change too. I was happy being big, and i want to be happy being slightly less big!
7 comments:
I don't think there's a conflict of interest. Its about being happy in your skin, whatever size it may be. If you'd always had a blue room and decided you wanted it to be green, would you feel you'd betrayed your friends who stil had blue rooms?
Just think of it in terms of health (watch yor cholesterol come down), - and shopping!
Jo,you are right of course!It'sjust that I suppose a bit of me is afraid of the changes too. I am happy in my skin, cholesterol will be checked in February and I'm sure it's gonna be grand! As for clothes I got a very foxy black dress in Dundrum, I'm looking very hourglass!
Well, it's a little like stepping out of your clothes, really, isn't it? A lot of protection gone. My Pilates teacher suggested our minds get our bodies to do stuff tht is necessary to protect us at the time, but that gets chrinic and counter productive if we don't undo it - my shoulders are permanently around my ears at the moment.
I know, we had this discussion before, you suggested that I was using my fat to deter men? maybe now that's why I'm shedding it? But anymen who've liked me over the years haven't minded the blubber!
I don't think it's an anti-man device, as such - and I'm ony speaking generally, I'm not making any asummptions about you! I think it's more like protection from the world, from harm, perhaps from your own potential. Perhaps you're just feeling like you don't need the security as much as before.
I like what Jo is saying..she's spot on.
As well, you make it sound like you're losing weight just because of the external reasons...when you're losing it because you want to be healthy and be there for the kids. If it changes your body shape, then that's an extra (if you want to call it an extra).
And, honestly, the men who you want to get with? They won't care if you're skinny as a rail or as big as a house. They'll know YOU, the MW inside, as well all do, and want to be with *her*.
Well said Polka!
Post a Comment